LOVE WALKS OUT THE DOOR




I’ve watched love walk out the door
And watched it march right back in again

I’ve mourned the loss of love
Wondering where things went wrong
Knowing when things stopped being right

Sometimes I imagine there is someone on their way to me
They missed their flight or they are sitting on a bench in the pouring rain waiting for a bus.

They are somewhere in the stillness, in the in-between, the this and that, the here and there.

Sometimes you are with someone
They share your home
They share your bed
They play an integral role in your life
But you feel completely alone
You wonder how much longer you can stay
And what would happen if you left
Alone in love or no love at all


                                             Photo by Luis Alfonso Orellana


If you’ve been in love
You know that sweet spot
When everything is off the charts
Intertwined with a lover
Kissing in the dark
Your soul in the light
Feasting on one another
Leaving nothing on the plate
Still hungry for more

There’s all kinds of love
We all love – love
Whether we have it or it slips through our fingers
We await its return
The sound of keys in the door
And a voice you would know anywhere

Everything comes around again
Even love
Sometimes it takes a detour
Or misses the exit
But its on its way

Keep the door open
Keep the kettle warm

Because even if love walks out the door
It eventually marches right back in again

THIS LOVE IS OUR LOVE




Come here

Let me hold you

Let me tell you

How much

I love you

How easy it is

To be with you

Let’s HIDE

BENEATH THE COVERS

Let’s take Mondays

Off the calendar






Let’s kiss and hug

Let’s laugh

LET’S TALK IT OUT

AND MAKE A PACT

NEVER TO GIVE UP

NEVER TO LEAVE

LET’S RESPECT

ONE ANOTHER

BE PRESENT

BE LOVERS

BE FRIENDS

LOVE COMES

IN MANY FORMS

OURS HAS A SHAPE

OF ITS OWN

Like A snowflake

Dancing WITH the wind

Like a winding path

Full of detours

And fallen trees

THAT WE NAVIGATE

Hand in hand

Me beside you

You beside me

In love

In silence

In time


For all of those who have found love and to the brave souls who are willing to try and find it again.

BE THE RIVER (fighting for your sanity)





(Mont Tremblant, Quebec - Winter 2009)

It's 2AM. My mind is in a spin. Thoughts are racing so fast that I can't catch them.

It's 3AM. I've left the house they way you leave when you don't know where you or going or why - just that you had to get up and go. 

I am driving down a country road. It's a crisp, chilly evening that smells like winter.

My mood is jagged and sharp. I taste blood in my mouth from an apparent injury I do not remember. The red juice is dripping from the corner of my lips. I find a napkin in the cup holder and I place it over the wound. It's as if I have been kidnapped and gagged and in a way I have.

I  pull into an empty lot by a long abandoned sawmill. I turn the engine off and I step outside. I immediately feel the deep freeze run through my bones. 

Clouds of smoke exit my mouth the moment my breath makes contact with the air.  

I walk toward a bridge and stand upon it looking down at the rushing river.

Rivers are mighty. They own whatever and whomever enters them. They control the balance between life and death. You have to respect a river.






I am transfixed - a witness to its teeth and claws tearing through everything in its way.  

I can't feel my hands or feet. The wind is blowing through my every pore and my bones feel like they may crack and land in a pile by my feet.

Still, I am captivated by the dark rage of the river and so I stay for what seems to be forever. 

I feel the presence of another living being. 

I turn around and a black wolf with yellow eyes is staring me down. 

He watches me. He anticipates what will happen next long before I can ascertain. He is is so incredibly beautiful. He stands his ground observing my body shake. He seems to be telling me something but I can't figure it out.

I know not to run and whatever force has brought me here on this night to this river - to this wolf - entices me with its inherent danger.

As I fathom my next move, the wolf vanishes as if he was never there.

My gut tells me it's time to leave - there is a debate - a standstill and then my mind finally agrees. 


I return home and pour myself a scotch. I am exhausted and afraid of this never ending cycle. I am unsure of how much more I can handle.

I head up to the loft where my dogs and partner await - the 4 of us warm and safe in bed and still I feel so alone.

The wolf comes to me in my dreams and I understand what he was trying to say.

He whispers:

"Rivers are mighty. They own whatever and whomever enters them. They control the balance between life and death. You have to respect a river."

"Be the River."

And so I am.

"Eventually all things merge into one and a river runs through it. The river was cut by the world's great flood and runs over rocks from the basement of time. On some of the rocks are timeless raindrops. Under the rocks are the words and some of the words are theirs. I am haunted by waters."

Norman Maclean - A River Runs Through It


STAYING TOGETHER FOR THE LONG RUN




WHEN YOU COME HOME AT THE END OF THE DAY – YOUR HEAD SPINNING IN A CLOUD OF FEATHERS AND DUST – I WILL BE HERE FOR YOU – WE WILL HUG – WE WILL HAVE DINNER THE WAY WE USE TO HAVE DINNER – TAKING OUR TIME – NATURALLY MELTING INTO ONE ANOTHER – EATING AND TALKING ABOUT EVERYTHING WITH EXCITEMENT – THINGS TO LOOK FORWARD TO – A GLASS OF WINE THAT WARMS THE MIND AND TINGLES THE SOUL –


WE’LL KISS THE WAY WE USE TO KISS OUR TONGUES DANCING WE WILL EXPLORE ONE ANOTHER SO WE CAN GET BACK TO WHERE WE WERE OUR HANDS TRAVELING THE LINES THAT TRACE THE MAP OF OUR AROUSAL ZONES WE’LL JUMP INTO BED UNDRESS ONE ANOTHER MY SOCKS ON YOUR SOCKS OFF JUST A THING WE’LL HOLD EACH OTHER SKIN TO SKIN WARM AND SAFE THE WORRIES OF OUR EVERYDAY LIVES SILENCED WHILE WE THRIVE TOGETHER IN THE DARKNESS THAT IS OUR LIGHT  WE’LL GO TO SLEEP CONNECTED TOUCHING EVER SO SLIGHTLY

WE CAN FIND OUR WAY BACK TO ALL OF THIS – TO ALL OF US – I KNOW WE LOVE EACH OTHER – I KNOW SOMETIMES WE CAN’T STAND EACH OTHER – I KNOW THAT’S OKAY AS LONG THE “LOVING EACH OTHER” OUTWEIGHS THE REST 




NOW COME HERE MY LOVE – HOLD ME – KISS ME – SLIP BENEATH THE SHEETS WITH ME - FEEL ME - TASTE ME TASTING YOU 

I WILL BE THERE AT THE BEGINNING OF EVERY END
  
YOU’LL BE CARRYING A COAT FOR ME IN CASE I GET COLD

FOR BETTER  FOR WORSE

IN SICKNESS AND IN HEALTH

OUR LOVE WILL SAIL LIKE A SNOWFLAKE IN THE WIND