Aug 22, 2011

Gummies are part of my daily fruit intake

I was reading this seamlessly irrelevent fashion magazine - irrelevant because my idea of fashion = button fly torn Levis, $5 t-shirt from Giant Tiger and sneakers. My idea of doing my hair = water, gel, fingers in fork formation once upward = spikes in all the wrong places. My idea of make-up = Johnson's Baby Lotion (with Lavendar) gently massaged into the pores of my face in a smooth swoosh (swwwwooooshhh - that's how it sounds).

Anyway some guy who produces or directs or does something with movies was quoted as saying, "Instead of giving me one reason why my idea won't work, let me give your 10 reasons why it will work" I probably misquoted him but hey this is my post so I can do what I want.

I often have unusal ideas. I discuss them with myself and usually act upon them.

Here are a few:

Lisa Cohen's Brilliant Ideas:

Gummies are part of your Daily Fruit Intake:
Substitute my daily serving of fruit with gummies, freezies (those funky coloured frozen sticks that you suck out of a plastic tube), Juicy Fruit gum ( no brainer, it's got "fruit" in its name)

Problem with Idea:
According to my nutritionist (who clearly I do not see often enough)these are not part of the daily serving of fruit as per Canada's Guidelines (yeah well Canada eats lots of Bacon and drinks lots of beer and let's not forget Eastern Canada - to be exact Quebec - where vegetable servings are considered Poutines with curds and peas).

I'm Trying to Shop for Groceries - Get Out of My Way
Instead of having those boys in the grocery store stock the shelves and push those giant carts up and down the aisles while we try to shop during peak hours - have them do this before or after store hours (I know - genius).

I'm On - Hold - Not Dying - Please Turn Off That Awful Music
Instead of playing awful, depressing music while clients are put on hold for 30 minutes by Bell or Rogers and all of the "communication" companies, why not play some of the best comedians doing their routines? Everyone on hold will still be angry and frustrated but at least they will be laughing.

I Want to Eat - Don't Make Me Yell Into a Screen
Instead of having those drive thrus where you yell into a display because the person on the other hand can't hear you and because as soon as you drive up to the screen and have had no chance to even see what you want to order - they are already asking for your order - then they don't understand what you are saying so you get a cheese burger with onion rings instead of a chicken sandwich with fries

Well why don't they just have you place your order when you get to the window and you have already read the outside menu and you know what you want and get this... you can talk face to face, ear to ear with an actual person who will not only understand you but get your order right.

Oh and by the way you end up waiting at the window anyway because they have to grab your food, bag it, add the ketchup you always have to ask for after they have handed you your stuff and usually since most of the staff did not come in because they were hung over or they are student activists rioting in a city near you so the person with the headphones (who by the way will no longer require the headphones if it is done my way) is not only serving the drive thru but the main counter as well.

So tell me - what IDEAS do you have? Because let's face it, as consumers we know what we want and we often leave stores, or get off phone calls and are frustrated and ready to call the press but we don't because we have so many other things on our minds - we just let it go.

I'll stop now because this post is way too long and well I don't want to have to put you on hold.

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