That Is All I See


I'm 5yrs old
Running on the beach
The ocean is aqua
The sky is blue

She watches me
From the boardwalk
Wheels don't work on sand
Arms, legs, feet, hands
Don't work at all

I want to build a sand castle
I want to build her a new body
One that moves
One that feels

My hand in his
My feet running, skipping, dancing
My Grandfather's smile
My feeling safe

I understand love
I understand laughter

I can't understand pain
I can't understand her pain

There's a dog
I call him Fluffy Shep
He lives with them
He plays with me
He's running, he's skipping, he's dancing
He's my best friend

She starts to shiver
She shivers in summer
Covered in a blanket
I don't understand

I understand love
I understand care

He is strong
Lifts her
Carries her
Sheds a tear
I see the tear
I understand the tear

I see the sky
I see the sun
I see the ocean

She turns her head
All she can do
She blows me a kiss
I catch it
I understand the kiss

His hand brushes her cheek
Rear view mirror
He smiles at me
I understand his smile

They drop me off
My mother waiting
Arms open, hug

Kiss her goodbye
Kiss her forehead
I understand
She feels her forehead

They leave
I look at the sky
I look at the sun

Years pass
She is still
She is silent
I feel the stillness
I hear the silence

Phone rings
6AM
Hospital
She's gone

By her bed
Kiss forehead
Brush cheek
No more pain
No more prison

I see the sky
I see the sun
I see her eyes

When I think of her
That is all I see