Why Adam Levine Thinks I'm a Model


So I'm walking in this small, quaint village north of Montreal - the kind where everybody says "Hello" although for the most part the locals are French so they say "Bonjour" and I see this well dressed couple and they seem to be lost.

Naturally out of all the other people walking down the street they choose me to approach for information. The woman asks me if I know a good place to go for lunch. I find that amusing because I look like I haven't eaten a full meal in months. I suggest a nearby cafe where I like to go for a sandwich because they serve it in a basket and sandwiches taste better in a basket and then I realize I have done the wrong thing because aside from the whole basket thing, that is where I go to write and read and now I have given my spot away to tourists.

So I'm thinking about this while still having some level of conversation with the woman and then the man pipes in and asks something terribly odd :

"Are you a model?"

So I turn around to see who may be standing in back of me and may be more suggestive in terms of this topic but there isn't anyone there. Now I'm in my regular "outfit" (my mom loves that word)as such: Torn Levis, Burton Baseball Cap (forward at that moment), worn out ankle high Nikes, graphic T exposing my right half sleeve (Tats) and so I wonder what on earth this man can be thinking?

Anyway I reply to his question with a "white lie" (Did your parents ever tell you about those? It means you can lie if otherwise you are going to hurt someones feelings or confuse them):

"Yes I model for "Walmart" - you know the "George" Label for boys 12 -14yrs of age.

To which he responds "Oh" (which is a perfectly acceptable response in this case).

Now I need to take a few steps back here and tell you something about my Burton cap. A few years ago I was at friend's house and her mother in law dropped by. She is a feisty lady who says whatever is on her mind. I was wearing my Burton cap and a blue shirt - same colour - that read "NHLPA" as in National Hockey League Players Association (why I have no idea) and a piece of red licorice was hanging from my mouth (it's fun to chew licorice without holding on to it - no really, try it - put it in your mouth and chew on it and then move it upward and inward - no hands - you'll love it).

I guess she thought I was someone else and that the blue and blue was part of a police uniform because she asked me an odd question: "Are you still in the Police Force?" to which all of my 5'1 and 105 lbs soaking wet replied

"Yes I am"

It's one of those situations when it's just easier to go along with the whole thing. Do you ever do that? Someone refers to something about you or thinks you are someone else and the whole thing makes no sense whatsoever but you feel bad for them so you just go along with it because it's easier and it takes less time.

The thing with modeling is it's all about what you look like and not who you are. Have you ever seen "The Voice"? It's this singing contest show sort of like American Idol but better and more unique. The start of the season has the judges seated in these twirly chair with their backs to the singing contestants so they can only hear and not see them. What a great idea. Listen first, see later.

And it made me wonder, what if blind dates really were blind? What if you showed up to the restaurant or wherever and you walked in backward and your date was waiting for you standing backward so you are both backward and you stay like that the whole time until the very end? Wouldn't that be great? You would judge them based on what you have in common and whether they were interesting, funny, intelligent and nice. Actually that would be an excellent reality show.

As I walked home, I thought to myself - could I have been a model? Had I missed out on an excellent and lucrative career? Should I get an agent and do some cover shots? Then I realized, it's too late. I no longer look like a 14 yr old boy, I look like a 15 yr old boy and then I thought - that makes no sense whatsoever but I was tired and didn't feel like re-thinking the whole thing.

So I just went along with it.