We all have one.
It’s someone you loved (whether or not they loved you back), still love and think of often.
You carry them around with you everywhere and all throughout your life. You wonder if you will run into them at some obscure time for one intense moment and if you did, you wonder what you would say.
You remember their face so clearly that you can see it whenever you search the back of your mind.
Your life goes on and you share it with another and all of its complexities keep you busy and running but on a dark night while driving home or on a sleepy Sunday while hanging out on the couch; the memory of them seeps out from your pores and it brings all of the regrets, frustration, pain and happiness back in one mighty swoop.
Sometimes you consider looking them up – finding them – calling them and seeing if you can be friends. You imagine yourself showing up on their doorstep and everything being okay and embracing in a warm hug.
Other times you hope you never see them again because you are not sure you could bare the pain.
There is something special about loving someone so much that you carry them around your entire life. The love is so great, so intense and so overwhelming that no matter how badly things unfolded; you still want them back if only for a while, if only for the rest of your life.
We all carry someone.
I do.And somewhere, someone is driving home in the dark with that song playing on the radio; thinking, wishing, remembering and carrying you.