How are you? I mean it - really - how are you?
At the end of the day when you are alone in bed or washing up in the bathroom and you see yourself in the mirror and you stay and stare just a little longer wondering how time has changed you and where the time has gone.
Do you ever catch yourself not wondering what is next and wonder why you no longer think of what's next?
When you go out to run your messages, do you find yourself wondering how much time you spend doing messages and how little enjoyment you gain from them?
Do you ever watch the person in bed beside you sleeping and wonder who they really are? What are the secrets they have managed to keep from you and what are they thinking when you are sleeping beside them and they are awake wondering about you?
Do you ever stop the car in front of your kids school when you are there to pick them up and even though they are already outside playing or hanging out with friends, instead of honking the horn or calling out their name, you just sit there watching them wondering what kind of people they are and will become?
Do you ever reflect on your various friends and friendships and come to the conclusion that you really only like some of them, few of them and the rest, well you no longer care to have people in your life who you no longer care to have in your life?
When you go to the hairdresser and they touch your head, cut your hair, lean over you, do you ever feel like you are in therapy and they are your therapist? Isn't it amazing that they touch your head several times and touch your shoulder and lean into your back and suddenly you are comfortable telling them all about your life?
Do you ever go to a physician like a proctologist or a gynecologist and when you leave you pray that you never run into them on the street? Or even worse, you pray that you never have an argument with them while driving because they cut you off or take your parking spot and so you swear at them or get out of your car and there they are - you were naked - I mean really naked - in front of them just the other day. How will you ever live that down? How will you ever return to them for treatment?
Do you ever find yourself fantasizing about just packing it all in and heading off to a new place, new job, new people? Do you imagine yourself settling down in a small town in Alaska living in a really cool loft style apartment over the local eatery - the kind that serves pink tortillas and wood oven pizza with homemade sauce from tomatoes grown in the garden out back?
Do you imagine yourself being a new you or the real you with people you've never met and having a fresh start at everything - I mean everything is wiped clean. Can you imagine being on your own and finding a stray dog and you feel like you are a stray dog so you take in the dog and he becomes your dog and all of the sudden you have a dog and you are not alone in your loft style apartment in a small town in Alaska?
Do you ever wake up and decide you just want to spend the entire day doing nothing which is actually something? You want to stay in your t-shirt and sweatpants - the ones with the holes in them - and you want to lay in bed and watch TV and eat cereal and chips but not at the same time. You don't want to talk on the phone or text or post to Facebook or communicate in any way. You just want to do nothing. It feels good sometimes to shut out the world and stop the noise in your head and be extremely lazy and useless.
Do you ever wish you were your dog or cat? They have great lives. They don't have to work or go to school. They receive love, love and more love. They are fed, sheltered and cared for to the highest degree. Do you ever ask your dog or cat if they would be willing to change roles with you just for one day? They would go to work and you would stay home. And if they would answer, they would say yes because they only know unconditional love and so they would do anything for you. How great is that?
Have you just read this post or have you actively participated asking yourself these questions?
Have you figured out the answers?
If you have, let me know and if you haven't - eat this post and forget the whole thing except maybe the idea of doing nothing all day because you've done nothing with this post so you are already off to a good start.
I say that with love.
Lots of love.