If you run into an X LOVER - Don't Follow These Instructions

This is what happened.

I went to meet a client downtown and I left 1 hour early because the rule is (my rule) that if you have an appointment with someone you should show up 15 minutes in advance.

Why? Well because this way you won't be late, you will appear eager (this is a good thing - don't listen to people who tell you otherwise - listen to me) and it gives you time to Google whomever you are about to meet. 

By the way, I once did that (okay several times) and discovered that the respective person was a nudist (not that there is anything wrong with that) and I didn't know if I should stay or leave or leave or stay because there was a chance he may be naked during our meeting. How would I concentrate? I can barely focus as it is when fascinating and useful  thoughts swim around in the choppy waters of my mind.


Fortunately, the said client was fully clothed but even then I couldn't keep my brain on course with whatever he was saying because I was imagining him naked since he wasn't naked so maybe it would have been better if he was naked. 

I'm confused - are you?

Okay so I am standing on a corner at a red light along with a bunch of other people and across the way at the opposite light, I spot an X LOVER (this happens at several intersections on a weekly basis).







The decision process begins - now we are going to run through this together... 

What to do? Here are the choices:

A - Walk briskly and pretend not to see him.
B - Same as A except pretend to be talking to someone on your cell phone.
C - Wait for them to cross and greet them with a "How are you? Wow it's been a long
time"
D - Back up and walk the other way, find another intersection to cross.

Now as I am sure you realize, this decision is not an easy one. "A" for example is highly risky because there is a 50/50 chance that they will decide to say hi to you.


There are minutes, sometimes seconds, before this happens.


We were together 25 years ago. The feelings and memories were buried and kept under the surface for a reason and so I was not going to grab a shovel and uncover them.

So I chose option "D"


For those of you not wanting to move your mouse upward to be reminded of what option D was ..."BACK UP AND WALK AWAY".


As I was heading down the wrong street and in the wrong direction for my meeting, I saw a relative I will not name in this post (but perhaps in another one) who I really did not want to see or speak to in any way, shape or form. She was coming right at me and before I could bend down to pretend to tie the shoelace on my Aussie Blundstone Boots that don't have laces - I heard my name being called "Lisa" (that's my name).


She is a close talker who happens to have halitosis (that's the worst kind of close talker) and she goes on and on about complete nonsense and then she starts to repeat what she has already said. 

She immediately breaks into a monologue while I think to myself "Why didn't I go for option "C" (for those of you not wanting to move your mouse upward - that option was to say hello to the X)?


I arrived at the conclusion that all I could do to escape her exceptionally fine company was to run away quickly elsewhere (other than the intersection I had just avoided). Suddenly I found myself racing down the wrong street in the wrong direction and I wondered "What is it that is really wrong with me?"

I arrived at my meeting 5 minutes in advance - I was extremely disappointed in myself. I couldn't Google the name of the person I was meeting because when his secretary originally called to arrange for us to meet she had only referred to him as one of the Editors and the respective company had several publications.

So when I checked in with the receptionist I asked her for the name of the editor and that conversation took 48 seconds because she had to keep answering the phone. That left me with very little time (I am bad at math so "very little time" was my way out) to Google the person who was the Editor of that particular on-line magazine and to find out instantly whether he was a nudist.


I Googled his name into the Image bar and my heart sank - there he was, my X, the one I had just avoided so I could speak to my relative with halitosis. 

And then, there he was again, standing right in front of me smiling.


We hugged and air kissed and then I followed him into his office.


There were so many thoughts racing through my delicate mind....Are we going to talk about our relationship or is this going to be a meeting between two professionals who have seen one another with their clothes off? And then....the question that played loudest in my surround sound home theatre of a mind was ...


"Why didn't I go with option C?"


Moral of the story: Intersections are meant for crossing no matter who is on the other side.