Ending a long, loving relationship with someone who has been your best friend, your other half and whom unfortunately you’ve grown apart from; is a form of death.
The pain, the abandonment, the tide of being scared and sick to your stomach and dizzy and confused comes rushing in and drowns you in its wake.
It’s a tear, a rip, a cut that won’t heal.
And as with death’s occurrence, there are arrangements to be made.
You can’t see straight or think or eat but you have to put it to sleep. You have to turn off the machines, say goodbye, bury everything, all of it – the smiles, the tears, the joint ventures, the good fight you fought as one, the losses, the gains, all of it deep beneath the ground never to be seen again.
Often there are others who will be hurt whether it be children, extended family, mutual friends or beloved pets.
And you know what? It’s an impossible situation because you can’t stay and you can’t leave.
And you wonder “How do I start all over again?”
Anyone who has experienced a break up knows that it leaves you feeling hopeless and lost. You search for answers you never find. You exhaust yourself. You lose your mind.
Breaking up is a form of death except there is no body, no burial and no funeral/memorial service.
There is mourning, there is the surreal feeling of whether or not it is happening and there is utter pain and darkness.
There is emptiness where there once was love and a sense of belonging.
But eventually, hopefully, there will be that moment when you pick yourself up, bruised and battered, hurting like hell and as impossible as it may seem, you will put one foot in front of the other and begin to write your next chapter.
Sending comfort to all of my readers who have shared their break up stories with me over the years - I am feeling your pain.