Showing posts with label sense of smell bringing back memories. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sense of smell bringing back memories. Show all posts

Nov 22, 2014


What I would give for one more moment...

In the car with my parents and brothers listening to Genesis, Styx, Fleetwood Mac on a family vacation. My father at the wheel young and healthy, telling us jokes and my mother at ease by his side loving life, loving us and forever moving forward with her hand closed around mine.

Friday night dinner with my grandparents, at the table looking around at all of our faces and listening to our stories, laughing, smiling already having learned the art of treasuring every moment as if it is your last. 

The first time I fell in love without questioning that love, without feeling like I was falling but like I was floating, rising above everything to a place of wonderment and acceptance; a place that felt like no other.

Meeting my 7 yr old and 9 yr old stepsons for the first time - instant motherhood - instant time to put myself aside and them first - the scary feeling in the pit of my stomach - the warm feeling in the depth of my soul - hoping we would connect and everything would be alright  - a connection I had hoped would stand the test of time.

In the country walking, running with all of the dogs that have enriched my life, and shown me love in a way I would have otherwise never experienced. The precious time before their sudden exits; so awful, so painful, but that taught me if it can hurt that much to lose a dog, it is all the more reason to go and love another one.

To be back in high school hanging out with my friends who were also my family. Having no idea what life had in store for us, and knowing how to live in the moment even as the moments slipped by. 

There would be marriages and splits, children coming into the world, parents leaving the world and friends succumbing to illness, to stress and vanishing into thin air.

Ringing the doorbell at my parents house (the house I grew up in), and being greeted by my Dad asking 20 questions, making hysterical remarks, comments and observations. Our Yorkshire Terrier, Casey, running up and down the hall, as if he had not seen me in 100 years  and my mom in the kitchen cooking up a storm. 

To sit at that kitchen table, just one more time with both my parents sharing stories, laughing, crying, mending our souls. I would tell them everything I was afraid of, and how lost I have been, even though I have found a new path to follow. And reassuringly they would say, "Everything happens for a reason - you'll be okay" even if they were not sure I was going to be okay.

And while I think of each of these moments, I am in another that will surely pass. 

All of the moments of our lives eventually fall from the reel, onto the floor. We have to catch them mid air, and hold onto them for as long as we can, because once they land, the only way to replay them is by heart.

What would be your moment?

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